Thinking

 I can’t sleep again, for some reason tonight, everything keeps going over and over in my mind. Today was a rough day for me. The girls were so tired and have been acting up, I wasn't feeling well either, and Aaron had a longer day. He said a comment tonight before bed that has been playing over and over in my mind. He said, "We've tried to be normal, and things have suddenly started to be a dream, but then the reminder comes that this is a forever thing, and isn't going away." It through me for a loop, and I realized the past few days I have really just tried to pretend this isn't real. I've stayed busy and haven't thought much about the whole picture of it. But, then at moments, some type of reminder of the whole horror story comes flooding back to memory. I know we will find a "new" normal as everyone tells us we will. But, this waiting game, and unknown is just so hard. 

Aaron attempted work today. He got up and headed out the door. He worked hard all morning. But, by the afternoon he was exhausted. His sweet boss, could tell, and ordered him home. I know how tired he was, because he actually did come home and then slept for an hour. If you know Aaron, that never happens! After he felt a little better, but was still ready for bed early. He is going to try again tomorrow. But, luckily will have the 4th off and then Friday he is going to take off. We've had to make some changes to our Holiday celebrations, which is fine. I just think Aaron feels so bad about it. But, we have to just realize that is going to be part of life too. There will be limitations to things, and that is okay. I just hate that Aaron feels bad about it. 

Anyways, this is really just therapeutic for me to write. I hope I am not too open or sharing things that are too personal, I just feel that this is good for us to share. Goodnight