Update on Aaron's MS

It's been a rough few days in the MS world. It's a funny thing, just as you start to think you've got this disease figured out and that Aaron's feeling better, we take a new turn. I'm starting to realize that its an unpredictable disease and effects everyone very differently. Aaron is a champ tho and is so positive and upbeat. He's facing things head on and trying to just move forward with his life. With that said, it's a draining disease and I can tell it gets him down and mainly just frustrates him. It tends to hold him back at times and I can't imagine how hard that would be.

 Aaron got another MRI and blood work done 2 weeks ago. What an intense, horrible and expensive little pain that is and we have to do yearly or maybe even more. Luckily Aaron's not clasterphobic and handles the machine just fine. If it were me, there would be BIG problems.

We waited a few days and then we were able to get the results of the MRI on a disk. When we pulled everything up, not much made sense to us, other than the fact it mentioned "New Lesion" and "Active Lesions". Yep, my heart sank and I had a moment of anger. My thoughts were "Um, I thought we were on the right track, but I had a feeling it wasn't working... yet, why not!?? Ugh! Always questions, never answers!" I then had to sit back and think, we don't know exactly what this all means, so calm down and be patient. I had my mom who is a nurse look over them. She came to the same conclusion as we did. I was not anticipating the appointment we had in a few days.

A day after we got the results the Doctors office called. It was Sally, one of the PA's we had worked with. She told Aaron that the results showed that he was having an active lesion as we speak and needed to get in to receive more soul medrol. We weren't sure what to do. We were meeting with the specialist on Monday, should we wait until we get further info. or should we just take care of it. I was bugged because it had only been about 8 weeks since his last dose. Shouldn't that have done the trick?  But we both decided it'd be best to go and get it done. Aaron is leaving on a business trip for a few weeks the next week and so we figured we'd better get him better. So Friday and Saturday afternoon's were spent pumping Aaron full of steroids. Hopefully it does the trick!

The rest of the weekend we spent praying and hoping something good would come of this appointment on Monday. On Monday we headed into the Specialists office. Once there, there were two other couples hanging out and chatting. We joined is once there and started a "group therapy" session. No, really it kind of was like that. Everyone was sharing "their" story. It was interesting to hear and see how MS really effects everyone so differently, attacks in such strange ways and is never the same story with anyone. It was nice to talk to others, but hard at the same time. Normal looking people, who you'd look at and think they were perfectly healthy, but inside their own immune system is attacking them. One gal spoke of her frustration about just that. That everyone saw a normal girl, yet, they had no idea the pain and suffering she was experiencing inside. They didn't understand why she was sooooo tired and couldn't accomplish all that others do. She said it's hard as a mom, to have people not understand where she is coming from and why she is the way she is. You can't tell just looking at her. That hit me hard. This must be how Aaron feels. Not only that, but the pressure he must feel with these symptoms and trying to work in a demanding job, keep up in school/church and be this energetic fun father and husband. My heart broke for him. I was a wake up call once again for me. Of how for a minute I could see into Aaron's head and how he must be feeling.

Anyways, after a long wait, we headed back in. The Doctor came in. You knew he was behind. We were his 3:00 appointment and the people there we had been chatting with were his 2 and 2:30 appointments. He was kind, but quick. He confirmed the new lesion, and that things maybe weren't going as smooth as we had hoped. He told us that unfortunately we may have to change medications. We need to watch it a little longer, to know for sure. He said if the flare ups continue, we'd definitely change. If the MS manifest itself in a new form, we will for sure new to change and need a new MRI. If he starts to stabilize and have no problems. Then we can keep at what we are doing. And of course... Time will only tell.

Haven't we already given it enough time? Its been almost a year! More Damage! But, this how this disease works and how the whole medication situation will always be.

We were told some encouraging news that new meds are coming out in 2015. The scary part is will insurances pick them up, will they be something Aaron can tolerate and help him. Who knows. Once again, time will only tell.

We left realizing that this is completely out of our control. We honestly just have to trust completely in the Lord on this one. There isn't much we can do. We can try to take care of Aaron, be healthy, fast, pray and exercise faith, but the rest is up to Him.  

I keep going back to Elder Uctdorf's talk from General Conference this year.

"Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful! 

But some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my world is falling apart?”

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be."

Grateful in our circumstances. So for me, I'm grateful I have Aaron in my life. No matter what happens, how much life changes or where his health takes us... I'm so glad I have him in my life. I wouldn't change a thing. 7 years ago when I met him, I knew there was something different about him. I knew that the world he started to share with me, was better than I had ever hoped for. I'm grateful that this is the struggle he has. That this is what we are facing. There are other things I'm grateful we don't have to face together. I'm grateful that he has changed me for the better and continues to challenge and help me. I love Aaron. This whole MS thing has opened my eyes to an even better understanding of Love, devotion and hope. I'm grateful for the lessons it is teaching us about the Atonement, our Savior, hope and the idea that this earth life is a trial and test of Faith. He gave us all we have, we owe it all to Him. Circumstances such as these truly have helped us become more grounded and our perspectives are continually changing, and I'm grateful for that.

MS=Meacham Strength