Wow, I didn't realize how long its been since I last wrote on this blog. I'm sure no one reads it anymore, but its good for me and our memory books.
Aaron's physically felt fairly well since my last post of him graduating and having that stress out of his life. He actually just got his paper completely turned in, accepted and published! We are now finally waiting for the "real" degree to come in the mail.
MS we are learning is a disease of ups and down that can effect you daily. People ask us how he is doing. Which is a hard one to answer. Because, yes, he is doing better than the past. He hasn't been in for steroids in a few months and the meds seem to working for the most part. But, he physically has daily problems, these come and range in differing symptoms and degrees of pain. He is learning what things effect what and what he can do to minimize things. The hard part is when something new comes up and we aren't sure what is causing it and how to minimize it. When you look at Aaron you would never know he is sick. He is such an upbeat, positive, loving and kind person. His set backs he deals with quietly and I'm honestly the only person who picks up on these things and I'm sure I even miss some of them at times. Like today, he looked pale, I could tell he was struggling with his speech and feeling tired. He showed me he has been biting his lip consecutively, and has a huge sore on the inside of his mouth. Yet, he pushes through it, tries to fast, does a full day at church and meetings, and worries about others the whole time. I forced him to eat lunch and lay down for a little bit today, but of course that lasted for a few minutes before he had to jump on the busy bandwagon again with life.
I pray that he never has the intense limitations that MS can bring like, a cane, wheelchair or other extremely physical debilitating effects. We feel blessed that we've escaped those thus far. So we will continue to be grateful for that.
We saw his specialist this past week. There's not much to share. We are learning that the MRI is really the only way other than symptoms to track and know how he is doing. We are planning on getting one late March, early April. From there we will decide on the direction we should take him as far as medication and treatments go.
We received good news that most likely the medicine that Aaron's on now, will not effect out new baby that will be born in March. We've been really nervous about it, because there are some drugs out there that can cause big problems in the development of babies. We were never planning on having us get pregnant while on medication, but life has a way of surprising you. We feel at peace about the whole thing now though and are grateful that all looks well with the development of the baby so far.
That's pretty much the summary of everything right now. Hope this helps those who are wondering. We are happy to have a active, happy dad in our lives, despite the hardships. We are grateful he has done so well these past 6 months and hoping it continues.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
He did it!
Amongst the craziness of this past year, Aaron was able to graduate today with Honors! He truly is one amazing man. It just proves that despite the trials or hardships we face, with the Lords help we can overcome and accomplish hard things. Though our hardships don't end with a degree or a completion of a phase of life, overcoming them does give us greater strength, fortitude and courage to face the next challenge head on.
Congratulations Dr. Meacham! Thanks for your example to us all!
Congratulations Dr. Meacham! Thanks for your example to us all!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Update on Aaron's MS
It's been a rough few days in the MS world. It's a funny thing, just as you start to think you've got this disease figured out and that Aaron's feeling better, we take a new turn. I'm starting to realize that its an unpredictable disease and effects everyone very differently. Aaron is a champ tho and is so positive and upbeat. He's facing things head on and trying to just move forward with his life. With that said, it's a draining disease and I can tell it gets him down and mainly just frustrates him. It tends to hold him back at times and I can't imagine how hard that would be.
Aaron got another MRI and blood work done 2 weeks ago. What an intense, horrible and expensive little pain that is and we have to do yearly or maybe even more. Luckily Aaron's not clasterphobic and handles the machine just fine. If it were me, there would be BIG problems.
We waited a few days and then we were able to get the results of the MRI on a disk. When we pulled everything up, not much made sense to us, other than the fact it mentioned "New Lesion" and "Active Lesions". Yep, my heart sank and I had a moment of anger. My thoughts were "Um, I thought we were on the right track, but I had a feeling it wasn't working... yet, why not!?? Ugh! Always questions, never answers!" I then had to sit back and think, we don't know exactly what this all means, so calm down and be patient. I had my mom who is a nurse look over them. She came to the same conclusion as we did. I was not anticipating the appointment we had in a few days.
A day after we got the results the Doctors office called. It was Sally, one of the PA's we had worked with. She told Aaron that the results showed that he was having an active lesion as we speak and needed to get in to receive more soul medrol. We weren't sure what to do. We were meeting with the specialist on Monday, should we wait until we get further info. or should we just take care of it. I was bugged because it had only been about 8 weeks since his last dose. Shouldn't that have done the trick? But we both decided it'd be best to go and get it done. Aaron is leaving on a business trip for a few weeks the next week and so we figured we'd better get him better. So Friday and Saturday afternoon's were spent pumping Aaron full of steroids. Hopefully it does the trick!
The rest of the weekend we spent praying and hoping something good would come of this appointment on Monday. On Monday we headed into the Specialists office. Once there, there were two other couples hanging out and chatting. We joined is once there and started a "group therapy" session. No, really it kind of was like that. Everyone was sharing "their" story. It was interesting to hear and see how MS really effects everyone so differently, attacks in such strange ways and is never the same story with anyone. It was nice to talk to others, but hard at the same time. Normal looking people, who you'd look at and think they were perfectly healthy, but inside their own immune system is attacking them. One gal spoke of her frustration about just that. That everyone saw a normal girl, yet, they had no idea the pain and suffering she was experiencing inside. They didn't understand why she was sooooo tired and couldn't accomplish all that others do. She said it's hard as a mom, to have people not understand where she is coming from and why she is the way she is. You can't tell just looking at her. That hit me hard. This must be how Aaron feels. Not only that, but the pressure he must feel with these symptoms and trying to work in a demanding job, keep up in school/church and be this energetic fun father and husband. My heart broke for him. I was a wake up call once again for me. Of how for a minute I could see into Aaron's head and how he must be feeling.
Anyways, after a long wait, we headed back in. The Doctor came in. You knew he was behind. We were his 3:00 appointment and the people there we had been chatting with were his 2 and 2:30 appointments. He was kind, but quick. He confirmed the new lesion, and that things maybe weren't going as smooth as we had hoped. He told us that unfortunately we may have to change medications. We need to watch it a little longer, to know for sure. He said if the flare ups continue, we'd definitely change. If the MS manifest itself in a new form, we will for sure new to change and need a new MRI. If he starts to stabilize and have no problems. Then we can keep at what we are doing. And of course... Time will only tell.
Haven't we already given it enough time? Its been almost a year! More Damage! But, this how this disease works and how the whole medication situation will always be.
We were told some encouraging news that new meds are coming out in 2015. The scary part is will insurances pick them up, will they be something Aaron can tolerate and help him. Who knows. Once again, time will only tell.
We left realizing that this is completely out of our control. We honestly just have to trust completely in the Lord on this one. There isn't much we can do. We can try to take care of Aaron, be healthy, fast, pray and exercise faith, but the rest is up to Him.
I keep going back to Elder Uctdorf's talk from General Conference this year.
"Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.
MS=Meacham Strength
Aaron got another MRI and blood work done 2 weeks ago. What an intense, horrible and expensive little pain that is and we have to do yearly or maybe even more. Luckily Aaron's not clasterphobic and handles the machine just fine. If it were me, there would be BIG problems.
We waited a few days and then we were able to get the results of the MRI on a disk. When we pulled everything up, not much made sense to us, other than the fact it mentioned "New Lesion" and "Active Lesions". Yep, my heart sank and I had a moment of anger. My thoughts were "Um, I thought we were on the right track, but I had a feeling it wasn't working... yet, why not!?? Ugh! Always questions, never answers!" I then had to sit back and think, we don't know exactly what this all means, so calm down and be patient. I had my mom who is a nurse look over them. She came to the same conclusion as we did. I was not anticipating the appointment we had in a few days.
A day after we got the results the Doctors office called. It was Sally, one of the PA's we had worked with. She told Aaron that the results showed that he was having an active lesion as we speak and needed to get in to receive more soul medrol. We weren't sure what to do. We were meeting with the specialist on Monday, should we wait until we get further info. or should we just take care of it. I was bugged because it had only been about 8 weeks since his last dose. Shouldn't that have done the trick? But we both decided it'd be best to go and get it done. Aaron is leaving on a business trip for a few weeks the next week and so we figured we'd better get him better. So Friday and Saturday afternoon's were spent pumping Aaron full of steroids. Hopefully it does the trick!
The rest of the weekend we spent praying and hoping something good would come of this appointment on Monday. On Monday we headed into the Specialists office. Once there, there were two other couples hanging out and chatting. We joined is once there and started a "group therapy" session. No, really it kind of was like that. Everyone was sharing "their" story. It was interesting to hear and see how MS really effects everyone so differently, attacks in such strange ways and is never the same story with anyone. It was nice to talk to others, but hard at the same time. Normal looking people, who you'd look at and think they were perfectly healthy, but inside their own immune system is attacking them. One gal spoke of her frustration about just that. That everyone saw a normal girl, yet, they had no idea the pain and suffering she was experiencing inside. They didn't understand why she was sooooo tired and couldn't accomplish all that others do. She said it's hard as a mom, to have people not understand where she is coming from and why she is the way she is. You can't tell just looking at her. That hit me hard. This must be how Aaron feels. Not only that, but the pressure he must feel with these symptoms and trying to work in a demanding job, keep up in school/church and be this energetic fun father and husband. My heart broke for him. I was a wake up call once again for me. Of how for a minute I could see into Aaron's head and how he must be feeling.
Anyways, after a long wait, we headed back in. The Doctor came in. You knew he was behind. We were his 3:00 appointment and the people there we had been chatting with were his 2 and 2:30 appointments. He was kind, but quick. He confirmed the new lesion, and that things maybe weren't going as smooth as we had hoped. He told us that unfortunately we may have to change medications. We need to watch it a little longer, to know for sure. He said if the flare ups continue, we'd definitely change. If the MS manifest itself in a new form, we will for sure new to change and need a new MRI. If he starts to stabilize and have no problems. Then we can keep at what we are doing. And of course... Time will only tell.
Haven't we already given it enough time? Its been almost a year! More Damage! But, this how this disease works and how the whole medication situation will always be.
We were told some encouraging news that new meds are coming out in 2015. The scary part is will insurances pick them up, will they be something Aaron can tolerate and help him. Who knows. Once again, time will only tell.
We left realizing that this is completely out of our control. We honestly just have to trust completely in the Lord on this one. There isn't much we can do. We can try to take care of Aaron, be healthy, fast, pray and exercise faith, but the rest is up to Him.
I keep going back to Elder Uctdorf's talk from General Conference this year.
"Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.
We can be grateful!
But some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my world is falling apart?”
Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be."
Grateful in our circumstances. So for me, I'm grateful I have Aaron in my life. No matter what happens, how much life changes or where his health takes us... I'm so glad I have him in my life. I wouldn't change a thing. 7 years ago when I met him, I knew there was something different about him. I knew that the world he started to share with me, was better than I had ever hoped for. I'm grateful that this is the struggle he has. That this is what we are facing. There are other things I'm grateful we don't have to face together. I'm grateful that he has changed me for the better and continues to challenge and help me. I love Aaron. This whole MS thing has opened my eyes to an even better understanding of Love, devotion and hope. I'm grateful for the lessons it is teaching us about the Atonement, our Savior, hope and the idea that this earth life is a trial and test of Faith. He gave us all we have, we owe it all to Him. Circumstances such as these truly have helped us become more grounded and our perspectives are continually changing, and I'm grateful for that.MS=Meacham Strength
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Because of Him...
Because of Him
I know that no matter what our family will be together again!
I know that Aaron and All will be healthy, whole and complete again someday!
That our family is eternal and that we Can live together again.
That I can lay my fears aside and Trust in the Lord's plan for my family and I.
That there isn't an end, a finale or just an earth life.
That death, disease, heartache, pain, suffering, and loneliness can and has been overcome!
Because of Him, I can be and live with hope and peace.
I'm so grateful for my Savior, my Redeemer, my brother and my friend.
Happy Easter from the Meacham's!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
A day MS meant something else!
MS= Meacham Strength
A week ago MS meant something very different to us than the typical Mulitple Sclerosis... it meant Meacham Strength.
On April 8, 2014 Aaron stood in front of a room of people and defended his doctoral dissertation. Not only did he pass, but he presented with confidence, humility, ease and eloquence. I might add he looked very handsome too. Anyways, since his diagnosis with MS we wondered if this day would come. Aaron took all of Fall semester off. We focused on him feeling better and getting his life back to a somewhat normal routine. After Christmas Aaron approached me and told me he was going to finish, and he was going to do it by Spring. I was like, OK! So instead of spending New Year's Eve together, Aaron started his semester long goal of working hard on his dissertation. It has been a long few months for us both. Aaron at the height of it got pretty sick and frustrated. I think he almost gave up a few times. But with blessings, prayers, fasting and perseverance on Aaron's side, he plowed through it and finished his presentation hours before his Tuesday night defense.
As I sat and watched Aaron that night I had a wave of emotions.
It started off with my stomach dropping into a pit of nothingness, I was probably as or if not more nervous for him that he was. Once he started, he was so cool, collected and eloquent, I started to feel elated and proud. I also had moments where I felt stupid... I would think, "Wow, Aaron's really, really smart. I feel kind of dumb right now, those last 3 words I don't even know what they mean!" But, honestly I was really just so humbled, happy and so impressed by this man standing in front of me. If you all only knew. If you really knew what I have watched him go through for the past 7 years of studying and even more so the past 9 months since his diagnosis. At that moment Aaron was my hero in so many ways.
After he finished presenting, the questions came. At this point I was nervous again. I wanted Aaron to be all knowing and answer every question exactly the way he was suppose to. But, to my delight, he didn't answer every question with arrogance and exactness, he did it the "Aaron" way, he did it with humility. If he didn't know the answer, he'd admit to it, if he did know the answer, he'd answer it with a quiet, yet strong understanding of what he was saying. I sat back in awe, he really is one of those people who aren't there to be the show off, but to present and share in the knowledge he gained.
Once the questioning was done. I sat back in relief. Aaron entered the committee question answer session and I headed home. I waited anxiously for the phone to read with good news.
On my drive home I thought a lot. I thought a lot about what he overcame that day. Not just the typical fears and hardships a normal person faces with a defense, but also the walls and mtns. he had to climb with MS while doing it. I remembered 9 months back when you could barely make out what Aaron was saying. His speech was so slurred and his frustration so apparent. We worried the stress of this presentation would cause some of that to come back. But it didn't. I worried he'd lose his train of thought or forget while up there due to the effects of his MS, but he didn't. I worried he'd have a red flushing attack, but he didn't. I then had a huge wave of gratitude, love and peace feel my heart. The Lord had truly blessed, supported and strengthened Aaron that night and these past few months. I also thought of the strength and support of our friends and family.
Suddenly the phone rang and the best feeling of all came. RELIEF! Aaron passed his doctoral dissertation! He was done with his presentation part! Though he still has some writing to do, the hardest and scariest part was over. When I finally saw Aaron a few hours later, my heart skipped a beat. I realized how much I loved that boy and how proud I was to be his wife. He has worked endless hours and sacrificed so much for this point of our lives. He overcame so much to get here. We had so many sleepless and hard nights. Though life will continues, hardships will come, at least this phase of life is finally over.
The day of the defense my family showed Aaron their support by all sending Aaron texts or emails of their support with the blue MS=Meacham Strength bands. Our little family jumped in on the action:
Here is our humble hero! Love you Aaron!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
A week ago MS meant something very different to us than the typical Mulitple Sclerosis... it meant Meacham Strength.
On April 8, 2014 Aaron stood in front of a room of people and defended his doctoral dissertation. Not only did he pass, but he presented with confidence, humility, ease and eloquence. I might add he looked very handsome too. Anyways, since his diagnosis with MS we wondered if this day would come. Aaron took all of Fall semester off. We focused on him feeling better and getting his life back to a somewhat normal routine. After Christmas Aaron approached me and told me he was going to finish, and he was going to do it by Spring. I was like, OK! So instead of spending New Year's Eve together, Aaron started his semester long goal of working hard on his dissertation. It has been a long few months for us both. Aaron at the height of it got pretty sick and frustrated. I think he almost gave up a few times. But with blessings, prayers, fasting and perseverance on Aaron's side, he plowed through it and finished his presentation hours before his Tuesday night defense.
As I sat and watched Aaron that night I had a wave of emotions.
It started off with my stomach dropping into a pit of nothingness, I was probably as or if not more nervous for him that he was. Once he started, he was so cool, collected and eloquent, I started to feel elated and proud. I also had moments where I felt stupid... I would think, "Wow, Aaron's really, really smart. I feel kind of dumb right now, those last 3 words I don't even know what they mean!" But, honestly I was really just so humbled, happy and so impressed by this man standing in front of me. If you all only knew. If you really knew what I have watched him go through for the past 7 years of studying and even more so the past 9 months since his diagnosis. At that moment Aaron was my hero in so many ways.
After he finished presenting, the questions came. At this point I was nervous again. I wanted Aaron to be all knowing and answer every question exactly the way he was suppose to. But, to my delight, he didn't answer every question with arrogance and exactness, he did it the "Aaron" way, he did it with humility. If he didn't know the answer, he'd admit to it, if he did know the answer, he'd answer it with a quiet, yet strong understanding of what he was saying. I sat back in awe, he really is one of those people who aren't there to be the show off, but to present and share in the knowledge he gained.
Once the questioning was done. I sat back in relief. Aaron entered the committee question answer session and I headed home. I waited anxiously for the phone to read with good news.
On my drive home I thought a lot. I thought a lot about what he overcame that day. Not just the typical fears and hardships a normal person faces with a defense, but also the walls and mtns. he had to climb with MS while doing it. I remembered 9 months back when you could barely make out what Aaron was saying. His speech was so slurred and his frustration so apparent. We worried the stress of this presentation would cause some of that to come back. But it didn't. I worried he'd lose his train of thought or forget while up there due to the effects of his MS, but he didn't. I worried he'd have a red flushing attack, but he didn't. I then had a huge wave of gratitude, love and peace feel my heart. The Lord had truly blessed, supported and strengthened Aaron that night and these past few months. I also thought of the strength and support of our friends and family.
Suddenly the phone rang and the best feeling of all came. RELIEF! Aaron passed his doctoral dissertation! He was done with his presentation part! Though he still has some writing to do, the hardest and scariest part was over. When I finally saw Aaron a few hours later, my heart skipped a beat. I realized how much I loved that boy and how proud I was to be his wife. He has worked endless hours and sacrificed so much for this point of our lives. He overcame so much to get here. We had so many sleepless and hard nights. Though life will continues, hardships will come, at least this phase of life is finally over.
The day of the defense my family showed Aaron their support by all sending Aaron texts or emails of their support with the blue MS=Meacham Strength bands. Our little family jumped in on the action:
Only Jon...
Here is our humble hero! Love you Aaron!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Aaron's good friend and committee member wrote this comment and shared a picture of Aaron on Facebook for all to see. I thought it was so kind I had to share:
My friend, Aaron Meacham, successfully defended his dissertation this evening. Very inspiring guy who has overcome great obstacles to accomplish this all the while staying brilliantly humble and genuine! #truehero #congrats — with Aaron Meacham.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
A disguised Tender Mercy?
Finally...Answers!
On Thursday Aaron finally called in to his MS doctor's office and they got him an appointment for Friday at 11:30. I was relieved that he got in and was going to get some help so quickly. Aaron told me he figured it would be a quick visit and nothing more, thus encouraging me not to come with him. I know he really didn't want to have to make my mom watch our kids and he of course didn't want to stress me out by trying to get there in time. But my mom of course offered to take the kids and when she said are you going to the appointment I felt really strongly that I did need to go! I felt a little silly at first that I was going, just because I wondered if it really would be this short appointment where they would say yep, you are sick and you need to get and infusion and then that would be it. I also didn't want to be the annoying wife who is way over protective and buggy every time Aaron went in for a visit. But, I continued to feel really strongly that I needed to go.
Friday morning came and I had a few hiccups in the course of getting the kids to my moms and getting to SLC on time. I almost gave up twice and thought maybe it'd be easier to stay home. (I've been doing that a lot lately, staying home instead of trying to deal with the hassel of dragging the 3 kids somewhere) This time I told myself "No, you are going to go and you are going to make it work. Aaron needs you to be there whether he wants it or not. It's not about you, it's not about the struggle you will experience to get there, it's about you being there for Aaron. So I worked through the kinks and actually made it there in time. of course to get there on time I couldn't feed the baby before getting into the Dr. office. Of course once there our little guy was starving. Now I am not a huge fan of nursing in public. But, what could I do? and of course our little guy was not happy about being covered and how I was holding him. It was a battle. I almost burst into tears right there in the waiting room. Why had I come. Aaron was stressed and I could tell a little embarrassed that here we are in the quiet office with other sick people and we brought a screaming baby! But I again had the feeling that who cares! You need to be there. If these people are bugged by you nursing or the baby crying then so be it. This isn't about you Jamie. Stop making it about you and your comfort. Of course mid feeding the nurse came and escorted us back to a room. Which meant our little guy getting made again. Once in the privacy of our own room I felt a little better. Tman fell asleep and I was able to thankfully focus on the appointment. It ended up being a huge help in the end that I was able to nurse him to sleep. Anyways, in came a cute, young PA named Courtney. I knew I liked her already for 3 reasons: 1. she was about my age and dressed in fun colors 2. When I apologized for nursing in front of her she told me that she thought it was great I was and that I better not worry about others because who cares I've got to get my baby feed (I love advocates for nursing) 3. I could tell she knew her stuff.
The appointment began and Courtney got right to point of the visit. She asked symptoms, checked for new ones and got a brief history. Then the answer to my prayers began, she asked us "Do you have any questions?" Little did she know she opened the flood gate. Little did she know that the 500 questions were dying to get answers too were going to coming pouring out in the next hour. I wonder if she would have asked that question if she knew the 5 minute appointment would change to an almost 90 minute one. Oh well, because it was just what we needed, what I needed and I know what Aaron needed. I don't remember the exact order or the exact answers/questions given. But here is a summary of what I learned and the questions I finally received an answer too:
1. While on the medication will he still have MS attacks or is it not working?
The medication does not cure him of MS. It slows down the process and can put people into a remission. But he can have flare ups and continued symptoms while on the medication, especially when he is in situations or places that cause him to trigger the MS: heat, stress, exhaustion or an infection/sickness of some sort. Is the medication working or not working? We can't really know for sure until we get another MRI and compare it with the previous years MRI. Which means MRI's yearly unless he continues to have a lot of problems then he will have more MRI's. Thus, mostly likely the reason he was having problems at this time was because he is extremely stressed right now and exhausted. This causing him to have a flare up mostly likely in an area he has already had problems with, thus the same symptoms that he had before. They'd be more worried if it were new symptoms that he'd never had before. But, that doesn't mean it isn't new damage or problems. Again, we won't know until the MRI. At least we can probably guess it is just a flare up of old problems due to triggers.
2. I asked about every symptom he has had and where it is coming from...
Eye Headaches: Normal MS symptom. Real issue is if the eye headache continued for a long period of time not going away, or if his vision became blurry. Then it would be a big problem and need to report it. As far as a eye headache here or there, its normal. Could be MS related or just eye strain. We just need to watch it and stay on top of it.
Dizziness: Normal as long as its not effecting daily life. If it does start to effect daily life, then we need to once again report it and come in.
Exhaustion: Something he will always deal with and be susceptible to no matter what stage in life. Sleep is vital to everyone, but especially to someone with MS.
Numbness: That is a definite MS flare up or attack and needs to be reported if it comes, stays or gets worse.
Slurred speech: Another definite MS flare up or attack. Can also be brought on by stressful situations. If it continues though and doesn't go away, then once again needs to be reported and taken care of.
Flushing: Not a symptom of MS but a side effect of medication.
Foggy/loss of concentration: A definite MS symptom and struggle that most MS patients struggle with throughout life not matter if in remission or not. If it gets severe it needs to be reported, but will be a lifelong struggle like the exhaustion.
3. He is still having flushing attacks, is that normal? What can we do about them?
It is normal that he is still having flushing. It's not good if they become so severe they are keeping him from functioning. But if they come on due to a stressful situation or randomly some time after taking a pill, then its normal. There are a few things he can so to ease those flushing situations which is eat foods high in fat or with pectin in it. That supposedly helps the flushing to subside or be less. So Aaron is going to try to eat some different things in the morning for breakfast to see if that helps.
4. What is happening to his brain when he has these flare ups?
So there are attacks and then there are flare ups. Flare ups are caused by outside factors that cause swelling in the brain around the damaged areas. Thus, causing the previous symptoms to come raging back. Attacks are when you immune system are once again attacking your brain, but in a new area. The hope of the medication is to keep the attacking from continuing.
5. Is solu medrol necessary? Can he wait out the flare ups?
Solu medrol goes in an helps decrease the swelling, fight off the immune system and boast the individual. From what I've heard I think that really since a flare up is not an attack on something new, you could wait the symptoms and flare up out, but the the infusion of the solu medrol helps you feel better faster and gives you a boost and protects you up to 6 weeks. Since Aaron is going to be stressed and dealing with a lot the next 6 weeks, we decided that he should definitely get the infusions and not try to wait this flare up out. The danger in waiting it out from what I gather is that we don't know for sure if it is a flare up or an attack. So its best to always at least report the symptoms and discuss with them what they think. Courtney was very encouraging that Aaron get the infusions.
6. Vitamin C... Aaron has been religiously taking vitamin C since he was diagnosed. But, Courtney was the first to open our eyes that really that wasn't the best thing to be doing. I guess when you think about the drug Aaron takes it is used to suppress the immune system to keep it from attacking the brain. Vitamin C is to help boost the immune system. Thus, they are fighting each other. Does that mess the medicine up, who knows exactly. But, he should stay off of it unless he is sick. Then he needs the immune system back up so he can fight the infection before he gets sick and then causes problems to arise because he is sick which isn't good for an MS patient. I don't totally get it, but needless to say, we now know and Aaron is not longer taking his large does of Vitamin C!
7. Diet... what is really necessary and what is not?
My big question was the diet research. We've been bombareded with people who swear that this one diet solved their problems, while another says, no stop eating this and starting eating that will help. I've been stressing big time of what to feed Aaron and what to limit in his diet. It really has started to cause me anxiety. Courtney bluntly told me how it is. Anyone will feel better when they start eating healthy, anyone! Anyone will feel better when they stop eating processed crap, even the regular normal person. So to say that it cures MS or puts it into remission is a false statement. Now, eating healthy can help any person feel better and especially one who has a autoimmune disorder, but there is balance in all things. She said most people who have an autoimmune disease usually has a gut disorder or something else tied into it. Thus, when they stopped eating gluten or other things, they started to feel much better. But, it didn't cure them or solve the autoimmune disorder, it just helped with the symptoms that the gut problems were causing. So, Courtney advised. Eat a well balanced diet and keeping away from foods that make you feel yucky! She said, if you notice a food makes you sick, then don't eat it. The healthier you eat, the better you will feel. She mentioned that it takes time and it also is a process. To slowly delete foods from the diet one at a time.
8. Can people really get rid of MS doing natural things without the drugs?
Another thing we get told by everyone is how certain natural things work for them or how they aren't doing anything for their MS, that medicine isn't necessary. Ok, again Courtney put it out there in blunt terms. I'm not going to get into the details, but there is not cure yet for MS. There are ideas out there, there are good oils and natural things to help ease symptoms, but there is no cure. The medicine a long with a healthy lifestyle is your best bet in staying healthy.
9. Stress: If we could only delete it from Aaron's life, I think we'd see a lot less symptoms. It's not going to happen, especially with my little Aaron. He's a stress case! So he's got to start finding coping mechanisms that help him relieve or reduce stress. She gave a us a few ideas and a prescription that could help if he is up for it. We will see how that goes.
10. Normal life: Aaron asked about his life, his future. Courtney gave it to us straight this whole time and she didn't hold back on this one either, which is good.
1. Yes, Aaron will be around for a long time. It is not a death sentence and he can live a normal life.
2. He has to take care of himself. He has to report and get the help he needs, and if he does, they can maintain and help him stay healthy. People don't die from MS they die from not taking care of the symptoms and things that MS can create.
3. He is a man, men with MS unfortunately have it worse then women. They do not have the same protection from hormones that women do. Men have to watch themselves and stay on top of things more.
4. Things can and may happen, but the likely hood is decreasing by a lot with the new advances in medication and treatment.
Overall, Courtney bluntly told us how it is. She couldn't stop stressing the fact to Aaron that it was okay to feel overwhelmed and still scared and stressed about the disease. Though everyone else has gone back to normal life, ours will never be the same. It will take a long time to find that new balance and we will always have times when we are scared or fearful. It's only been 9 months, we just had a new baby, Aaron is working full time and doing a dissertation. (He also has a lot of other things in life like a calling in the church and a busy young family) He is going to be stressed and overwhelmed. It will be harder than your average Joe. It was so good for Aaron to hear someone else say it, to say you are doing a lot, I'd be stressed too, you are amazing for hanging in there and plowing forward.
So the appointment ended. Aaron got some helps with sleep, stress and then a time for infusions. We walked out in amazement. I was actually so grateful he had this flare up, because finally, finally someone talked to us and let us go at it with all our questions. I felt like I was on cloud 9 after that appointment. It was truly a disguised tender mercy! I'm so grateful I went. I'm so grateful I was there to be the annoying overpowering wife. I talked more than Aaron. I was glad Aaron got it told to him bluntly and that he heard that he is doing a lot and that he's not a wimp or failure. I'm so glad my mom suggested I go and thank you to her and my dad for watching the kids so I could. I'm also so glad our little baby slept the whole appointment, even though I had to nurse in public. It was all a huge blessing and answer to our prayers. Did it solve his MS... sadly no. But, we know more now and with this new knowledge can better take care of him. I'm going to promise right here and now that my sweetheart will be well taken care of and that with me by his side we are going to keep him healthy and around for a long time!
On Thursday Aaron finally called in to his MS doctor's office and they got him an appointment for Friday at 11:30. I was relieved that he got in and was going to get some help so quickly. Aaron told me he figured it would be a quick visit and nothing more, thus encouraging me not to come with him. I know he really didn't want to have to make my mom watch our kids and he of course didn't want to stress me out by trying to get there in time. But my mom of course offered to take the kids and when she said are you going to the appointment I felt really strongly that I did need to go! I felt a little silly at first that I was going, just because I wondered if it really would be this short appointment where they would say yep, you are sick and you need to get and infusion and then that would be it. I also didn't want to be the annoying wife who is way over protective and buggy every time Aaron went in for a visit. But, I continued to feel really strongly that I needed to go.
Friday morning came and I had a few hiccups in the course of getting the kids to my moms and getting to SLC on time. I almost gave up twice and thought maybe it'd be easier to stay home. (I've been doing that a lot lately, staying home instead of trying to deal with the hassel of dragging the 3 kids somewhere) This time I told myself "No, you are going to go and you are going to make it work. Aaron needs you to be there whether he wants it or not. It's not about you, it's not about the struggle you will experience to get there, it's about you being there for Aaron. So I worked through the kinks and actually made it there in time. of course to get there on time I couldn't feed the baby before getting into the Dr. office. Of course once there our little guy was starving. Now I am not a huge fan of nursing in public. But, what could I do? and of course our little guy was not happy about being covered and how I was holding him. It was a battle. I almost burst into tears right there in the waiting room. Why had I come. Aaron was stressed and I could tell a little embarrassed that here we are in the quiet office with other sick people and we brought a screaming baby! But I again had the feeling that who cares! You need to be there. If these people are bugged by you nursing or the baby crying then so be it. This isn't about you Jamie. Stop making it about you and your comfort. Of course mid feeding the nurse came and escorted us back to a room. Which meant our little guy getting made again. Once in the privacy of our own room I felt a little better. Tman fell asleep and I was able to thankfully focus on the appointment. It ended up being a huge help in the end that I was able to nurse him to sleep. Anyways, in came a cute, young PA named Courtney. I knew I liked her already for 3 reasons: 1. she was about my age and dressed in fun colors 2. When I apologized for nursing in front of her she told me that she thought it was great I was and that I better not worry about others because who cares I've got to get my baby feed (I love advocates for nursing) 3. I could tell she knew her stuff.
The appointment began and Courtney got right to point of the visit. She asked symptoms, checked for new ones and got a brief history. Then the answer to my prayers began, she asked us "Do you have any questions?" Little did she know she opened the flood gate. Little did she know that the 500 questions were dying to get answers too were going to coming pouring out in the next hour. I wonder if she would have asked that question if she knew the 5 minute appointment would change to an almost 90 minute one. Oh well, because it was just what we needed, what I needed and I know what Aaron needed. I don't remember the exact order or the exact answers/questions given. But here is a summary of what I learned and the questions I finally received an answer too:
1. While on the medication will he still have MS attacks or is it not working?
The medication does not cure him of MS. It slows down the process and can put people into a remission. But he can have flare ups and continued symptoms while on the medication, especially when he is in situations or places that cause him to trigger the MS: heat, stress, exhaustion or an infection/sickness of some sort. Is the medication working or not working? We can't really know for sure until we get another MRI and compare it with the previous years MRI. Which means MRI's yearly unless he continues to have a lot of problems then he will have more MRI's. Thus, mostly likely the reason he was having problems at this time was because he is extremely stressed right now and exhausted. This causing him to have a flare up mostly likely in an area he has already had problems with, thus the same symptoms that he had before. They'd be more worried if it were new symptoms that he'd never had before. But, that doesn't mean it isn't new damage or problems. Again, we won't know until the MRI. At least we can probably guess it is just a flare up of old problems due to triggers.
2. I asked about every symptom he has had and where it is coming from...
Eye Headaches: Normal MS symptom. Real issue is if the eye headache continued for a long period of time not going away, or if his vision became blurry. Then it would be a big problem and need to report it. As far as a eye headache here or there, its normal. Could be MS related or just eye strain. We just need to watch it and stay on top of it.
Dizziness: Normal as long as its not effecting daily life. If it does start to effect daily life, then we need to once again report it and come in.
Exhaustion: Something he will always deal with and be susceptible to no matter what stage in life. Sleep is vital to everyone, but especially to someone with MS.
Numbness: That is a definite MS flare up or attack and needs to be reported if it comes, stays or gets worse.
Slurred speech: Another definite MS flare up or attack. Can also be brought on by stressful situations. If it continues though and doesn't go away, then once again needs to be reported and taken care of.
Flushing: Not a symptom of MS but a side effect of medication.
Foggy/loss of concentration: A definite MS symptom and struggle that most MS patients struggle with throughout life not matter if in remission or not. If it gets severe it needs to be reported, but will be a lifelong struggle like the exhaustion.
3. He is still having flushing attacks, is that normal? What can we do about them?
It is normal that he is still having flushing. It's not good if they become so severe they are keeping him from functioning. But if they come on due to a stressful situation or randomly some time after taking a pill, then its normal. There are a few things he can so to ease those flushing situations which is eat foods high in fat or with pectin in it. That supposedly helps the flushing to subside or be less. So Aaron is going to try to eat some different things in the morning for breakfast to see if that helps.
4. What is happening to his brain when he has these flare ups?
So there are attacks and then there are flare ups. Flare ups are caused by outside factors that cause swelling in the brain around the damaged areas. Thus, causing the previous symptoms to come raging back. Attacks are when you immune system are once again attacking your brain, but in a new area. The hope of the medication is to keep the attacking from continuing.
5. Is solu medrol necessary? Can he wait out the flare ups?
Solu medrol goes in an helps decrease the swelling, fight off the immune system and boast the individual. From what I've heard I think that really since a flare up is not an attack on something new, you could wait the symptoms and flare up out, but the the infusion of the solu medrol helps you feel better faster and gives you a boost and protects you up to 6 weeks. Since Aaron is going to be stressed and dealing with a lot the next 6 weeks, we decided that he should definitely get the infusions and not try to wait this flare up out. The danger in waiting it out from what I gather is that we don't know for sure if it is a flare up or an attack. So its best to always at least report the symptoms and discuss with them what they think. Courtney was very encouraging that Aaron get the infusions.
6. Vitamin C... Aaron has been religiously taking vitamin C since he was diagnosed. But, Courtney was the first to open our eyes that really that wasn't the best thing to be doing. I guess when you think about the drug Aaron takes it is used to suppress the immune system to keep it from attacking the brain. Vitamin C is to help boost the immune system. Thus, they are fighting each other. Does that mess the medicine up, who knows exactly. But, he should stay off of it unless he is sick. Then he needs the immune system back up so he can fight the infection before he gets sick and then causes problems to arise because he is sick which isn't good for an MS patient. I don't totally get it, but needless to say, we now know and Aaron is not longer taking his large does of Vitamin C!
7. Diet... what is really necessary and what is not?
My big question was the diet research. We've been bombareded with people who swear that this one diet solved their problems, while another says, no stop eating this and starting eating that will help. I've been stressing big time of what to feed Aaron and what to limit in his diet. It really has started to cause me anxiety. Courtney bluntly told me how it is. Anyone will feel better when they start eating healthy, anyone! Anyone will feel better when they stop eating processed crap, even the regular normal person. So to say that it cures MS or puts it into remission is a false statement. Now, eating healthy can help any person feel better and especially one who has a autoimmune disorder, but there is balance in all things. She said most people who have an autoimmune disease usually has a gut disorder or something else tied into it. Thus, when they stopped eating gluten or other things, they started to feel much better. But, it didn't cure them or solve the autoimmune disorder, it just helped with the symptoms that the gut problems were causing. So, Courtney advised. Eat a well balanced diet and keeping away from foods that make you feel yucky! She said, if you notice a food makes you sick, then don't eat it. The healthier you eat, the better you will feel. She mentioned that it takes time and it also is a process. To slowly delete foods from the diet one at a time.
8. Can people really get rid of MS doing natural things without the drugs?
Another thing we get told by everyone is how certain natural things work for them or how they aren't doing anything for their MS, that medicine isn't necessary. Ok, again Courtney put it out there in blunt terms. I'm not going to get into the details, but there is not cure yet for MS. There are ideas out there, there are good oils and natural things to help ease symptoms, but there is no cure. The medicine a long with a healthy lifestyle is your best bet in staying healthy.
9. Stress: If we could only delete it from Aaron's life, I think we'd see a lot less symptoms. It's not going to happen, especially with my little Aaron. He's a stress case! So he's got to start finding coping mechanisms that help him relieve or reduce stress. She gave a us a few ideas and a prescription that could help if he is up for it. We will see how that goes.
10. Normal life: Aaron asked about his life, his future. Courtney gave it to us straight this whole time and she didn't hold back on this one either, which is good.
1. Yes, Aaron will be around for a long time. It is not a death sentence and he can live a normal life.
2. He has to take care of himself. He has to report and get the help he needs, and if he does, they can maintain and help him stay healthy. People don't die from MS they die from not taking care of the symptoms and things that MS can create.
3. He is a man, men with MS unfortunately have it worse then women. They do not have the same protection from hormones that women do. Men have to watch themselves and stay on top of things more.
4. Things can and may happen, but the likely hood is decreasing by a lot with the new advances in medication and treatment.
Overall, Courtney bluntly told us how it is. She couldn't stop stressing the fact to Aaron that it was okay to feel overwhelmed and still scared and stressed about the disease. Though everyone else has gone back to normal life, ours will never be the same. It will take a long time to find that new balance and we will always have times when we are scared or fearful. It's only been 9 months, we just had a new baby, Aaron is working full time and doing a dissertation. (He also has a lot of other things in life like a calling in the church and a busy young family) He is going to be stressed and overwhelmed. It will be harder than your average Joe. It was so good for Aaron to hear someone else say it, to say you are doing a lot, I'd be stressed too, you are amazing for hanging in there and plowing forward.
So the appointment ended. Aaron got some helps with sleep, stress and then a time for infusions. We walked out in amazement. I was actually so grateful he had this flare up, because finally, finally someone talked to us and let us go at it with all our questions. I felt like I was on cloud 9 after that appointment. It was truly a disguised tender mercy! I'm so grateful I went. I'm so grateful I was there to be the annoying overpowering wife. I talked more than Aaron. I was glad Aaron got it told to him bluntly and that he heard that he is doing a lot and that he's not a wimp or failure. I'm so glad my mom suggested I go and thank you to her and my dad for watching the kids so I could. I'm also so glad our little baby slept the whole appointment, even though I had to nurse in public. It was all a huge blessing and answer to our prayers. Did it solve his MS... sadly no. But, we know more now and with this new knowledge can better take care of him. I'm going to promise right here and now that my sweetheart will be well taken care of and that with me by his side we are going to keep him healthy and around for a long time!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Stress+MS= :(
We thought we were done with relapses for a bit, but we are learning that stress may truly be one of Aaron's triggers. Aaron has been studying nonstop for about 4 weeks now, trying to get his dissertation done before April. He has been going everyday from 5am-10pm. He gets up works all day then studies all night. He doesn't come home until 8 or 9 and never takes breaks. The only day he doesn't work the whole day is Sunday. Thank goodness for 9:00 church so he can take it easy Sunday afternoons. But, about 2 weeks ago I think the stress really started to get him. We had some horrible news about his big brother Nate. Nate was diagnosed with a brain tumor and is going to be undergoing brain surgery in a few weeks. This absolutely devastated Aaron. Especially because Nate had to have extra tests done because they wanted to rule out MS since Aaron has it. The test were brutal and took a tool on poor Nate. (Of course Nate and his wife are handling it so well and our examples to us of faith over fear!) Along with this, Aaron's just got so much on his is plate. We've had some other struggles too, that I'm sure help add stress to his life. I think with all of this his body is getting worn out, run down and allowing his defenses to go down. With that, he is starting to relapse again. About a week ago he started to feel dizzy. Almost to the point he always feels he is on a boat. Then he starts to get headaches and is exhausted and starting Saturday he began to go numb on his left side. We called the dr today and are waiting to hear what next. It's the worst time for this to happen. This could definitely push graduation back and keep him for his goal, which is going to stress him more. It's Days like these I just want to cry and curse MS! I wish I was the one who had it or that there was a way I could keep Aaron from struggling with this. But I can't! I wish I could help with his dissertation. I wish I could ease his burdens and take the stresses of life away. But I can't do that either. All I can do is trust that God truly has a plan for Aaron, for us and our family. I have to believe and trust as long as we are doing all we can The Lord will do his part. Just send some prayers Aaron's way and his brother Nate's way. We need all we can get right now!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Updates
It has been awhile since I last wrote. Somedays I feel silly that I keep this blog and other days I am grateful I have it for a few moments of venting or sharing so I can move on with my day and leave my emotions somewhere. I don't think many check it, but for the future I'd love to have this record of our journey and what we are experiencing.
Aaron is actually doing quite well health wise from at least what I can see. Aaron is trying hard to not focus on the effects of the medication and MS and stays pretty positive. I can tell though the days he is just wiped out and not going to make it past 9 that evening. It is amazing how tired he gets these days. Most nights now he is in bed by 9:30 and the second that head hits the pillow literally he is out. I have some lonely evenings, but I am learning to fill them with blogging, reading, and food network watching. :) I think the hardest part is always going to be the unknown, the wondering, the what if and the fear. We try to move forward and forget that it is even there, but we always have our moments in the week that remind us life will be a little different from now on. I had one of those moments yesterday. I guess the reason I decided to write this blog post. I was at a shower for a dear friend. During the shower a few friends that no longer live near were there. One who knows our circumstances came over and was asking me about Aaron. I of course never really know what to say. Most the time I just say great and move the conversation forward. I was able to say that day that he was doing good and we ended it there. But, another friend who didn't know about Aaron overheard. Of course not realizing it, she asked me what had happened to Aaron. I then related the story to her. She was in shock, she had no idea. She was so sweet. We talked for a little bit about it. She talked about how she thought our lives were busy and crazy already, but that was like a thick icing on the cake. She asked some questions that I hadn't thought about and made my mind wander and think a lot since then. I've thought a lot about others I know right now facing really hard trials. It me feel sad and a little down. But then I though a lot about my Savior. How he not only atoned for our sins, but he can also understand and literally carry us in our sorrows. We can place our fears with him and truly know that all will work out. I know that it may not be the way I thought it should go, but he won't let us be entirely alone and hopeless. I guess my conclusion to this experience this week is: Move forward with Faith. Leave it in the Lord's hands and remember that this life is only a short time to what eternity will be.
We've recently been in contact with the ER doctor that treated Aaron his first episode and diagnosis. He is an amazing man and continues to remember us and stay in touch. Here is a little bit from his last email:
I am so glad that your family is doing well, especially your husband. I've thought about him many times since then and wondered how life has played out for all of you. I'm so glad that your children have their father and he's back in the normal swing of life, despite ongoing challenges and set backs. As a bishop, I see firsthand how families confront their challenges in life, and I can tell that you are meeting this one head on. There is a purpose and plan for all that we must endure. I wish you well and hope for the best as your children continue to grow.
Our son is doing amazingly well, and he has learned a lot of valuable life lessons while in the jungles of Peru. Bathing out of a bucket has a way of teaching proper perspective and helps align his will, along with the bugs, humidity, extreme poverty and various illnesses and ailments he's experienced. It's music to a father's soul, but not always to a mother's.
Keep me updated on life's changes and milestones. I adore your family and am impressed with your simple faith to endure and move forward. You are truly inspiring. I admire you as a mother and wife, and saw your strength in our first visit. I admire Aaron and his willingness to accept that which comes his way and still carry on in his responsibilities as a husband, father and with church duties. There is a law of compensation, which blesses all who faithfully endure.
I've been amazed at all the great people out there that we've met during this experience. Truly, there is a lot of good in this world. That is what we all need to focus on I suppose. There is so much darkness in the world, but there is so much more light.
This week my thoughts and prayers will be with others who we love that are struggling and facing their own fears. We can't deal with this alone and I hope those I love who struggle know they don't have to do their struggles alone either.
Aaron is actually doing quite well health wise from at least what I can see. Aaron is trying hard to not focus on the effects of the medication and MS and stays pretty positive. I can tell though the days he is just wiped out and not going to make it past 9 that evening. It is amazing how tired he gets these days. Most nights now he is in bed by 9:30 and the second that head hits the pillow literally he is out. I have some lonely evenings, but I am learning to fill them with blogging, reading, and food network watching. :) I think the hardest part is always going to be the unknown, the wondering, the what if and the fear. We try to move forward and forget that it is even there, but we always have our moments in the week that remind us life will be a little different from now on. I had one of those moments yesterday. I guess the reason I decided to write this blog post. I was at a shower for a dear friend. During the shower a few friends that no longer live near were there. One who knows our circumstances came over and was asking me about Aaron. I of course never really know what to say. Most the time I just say great and move the conversation forward. I was able to say that day that he was doing good and we ended it there. But, another friend who didn't know about Aaron overheard. Of course not realizing it, she asked me what had happened to Aaron. I then related the story to her. She was in shock, she had no idea. She was so sweet. We talked for a little bit about it. She talked about how she thought our lives were busy and crazy already, but that was like a thick icing on the cake. She asked some questions that I hadn't thought about and made my mind wander and think a lot since then. I've thought a lot about others I know right now facing really hard trials. It me feel sad and a little down. But then I though a lot about my Savior. How he not only atoned for our sins, but he can also understand and literally carry us in our sorrows. We can place our fears with him and truly know that all will work out. I know that it may not be the way I thought it should go, but he won't let us be entirely alone and hopeless. I guess my conclusion to this experience this week is: Move forward with Faith. Leave it in the Lord's hands and remember that this life is only a short time to what eternity will be.
We've recently been in contact with the ER doctor that treated Aaron his first episode and diagnosis. He is an amazing man and continues to remember us and stay in touch. Here is a little bit from his last email:
I am so glad that your family is doing well, especially your husband. I've thought about him many times since then and wondered how life has played out for all of you. I'm so glad that your children have their father and he's back in the normal swing of life, despite ongoing challenges and set backs. As a bishop, I see firsthand how families confront their challenges in life, and I can tell that you are meeting this one head on. There is a purpose and plan for all that we must endure. I wish you well and hope for the best as your children continue to grow.
Our son is doing amazingly well, and he has learned a lot of valuable life lessons while in the jungles of Peru. Bathing out of a bucket has a way of teaching proper perspective and helps align his will, along with the bugs, humidity, extreme poverty and various illnesses and ailments he's experienced. It's music to a father's soul, but not always to a mother's.
Keep me updated on life's changes and milestones. I adore your family and am impressed with your simple faith to endure and move forward. You are truly inspiring. I admire you as a mother and wife, and saw your strength in our first visit. I admire Aaron and his willingness to accept that which comes his way and still carry on in his responsibilities as a husband, father and with church duties. There is a law of compensation, which blesses all who faithfully endure.
I've been amazed at all the great people out there that we've met during this experience. Truly, there is a lot of good in this world. That is what we all need to focus on I suppose. There is so much darkness in the world, but there is so much more light.
This week my thoughts and prayers will be with others who we love that are struggling and facing their own fears. We can't deal with this alone and I hope those I love who struggle know they don't have to do their struggles alone either.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)