Updates

It has been awhile since I last wrote. Somedays I feel silly that I keep this blog and other days I am grateful I have it for a few moments of venting or sharing so I can move on with my day and leave my emotions somewhere. I don't think many check it, but for the future I'd love to have this record of our journey and what we are experiencing.

Aaron is actually doing quite well health wise from at least what I can see. Aaron is trying hard to not focus on the effects of the medication and MS and stays pretty positive. I can tell though the days he is just wiped out and not going to make it past 9 that evening. It is amazing how tired he gets these days. Most nights now he is in bed by 9:30 and the second that head hits the pillow literally he is out. I have some lonely evenings, but I am learning to fill them with blogging, reading, and food network watching. :)  I think the hardest part is always going to be the unknown, the wondering, the what if and the fear. We try to move forward and forget that it is even there, but we always have our moments in the week that remind us life will be a little different from now on. I had one of those moments yesterday. I guess the reason I decided to write this blog post. I was at a shower for a dear friend. During the shower a few friends that no longer live near were there. One who knows our circumstances came over and was asking me about Aaron. I of course never really know what to say. Most the time I just say great and move the conversation forward. I was able to say that day that he was doing good and we ended it there. But, another friend who didn't know about Aaron overheard. Of course not realizing it, she asked me what had happened to Aaron. I then related the story to her. She was in shock, she had no idea. She was so sweet. We talked for a little bit about it. She talked about how she thought our lives were busy and crazy already, but that was like a thick icing on the cake. She asked some questions that I hadn't thought about and made my mind wander and think a lot since then. I've thought a lot about others I know right now facing really hard trials. It me feel sad and a little down. But then I though a lot about my Savior. How he not only atoned for our sins, but he can also understand and literally carry us in our sorrows. We can place our fears with him and truly know that all will work out. I know that it may not be the way I thought it should go, but he won't let us be entirely alone and hopeless. I guess my conclusion to this experience this week is: Move forward with Faith. Leave it in the Lord's hands and remember that this life is only a short time to what eternity will be.

We've recently been in contact with the ER doctor that treated Aaron his first episode and diagnosis. He is an amazing man and continues to remember us and stay in touch. Here is a little bit from his last email:

I am so glad that your family is doing well, especially your husband.  I've thought about him many times since then and wondered how life has played out for all of you.  I'm so glad that your children have their father and he's back in the normal swing of life, despite ongoing challenges and set backs.  As a bishop, I see firsthand how families confront their challenges in life, and I can tell that you are meeting this one head on.  There is a purpose and plan for all that we must endure.  I wish you well and hope for the best as your children continue to grow.

Our son is doing amazingly well, and he has learned a lot of valuable life lessons while in the jungles of Peru.  Bathing out of a bucket has a way of teaching proper perspective and helps align his will, along with the bugs, humidity, extreme poverty and various illnesses and ailments he's experienced.  It's music to a father's soul, but not always to a mother's.

Keep me updated on life's changes and milestones.  I adore your family and am impressed with your simple faith to endure and move forward.  You are truly inspiring.  I admire you as a mother and wife, and saw your strength in our first visit.  I admire Aaron and his willingness to accept that which comes his way and still carry on in his responsibilities as a husband, father and with church duties.  There is a law of compensation, which blesses all who faithfully endure.

I've been amazed at all the great people out there that we've met during this experience. Truly, there is a lot of good in this world. That is what we all need to focus on I suppose. There is so much darkness in the world, but there is so much more light.

This week my thoughts and prayers will be with others who we love that are struggling and facing their own fears. We can't deal with this alone and I hope those I love who struggle know they don't have to do their struggles alone either.